I used to think that in life there was a destination. A point of success or achievement that would make me feel like I made it, that I had things figured out. I have spent a lot of time running towards this unknown goal, feeling like I was always chasing something that was just outside my reach.
The longer I move through this life the less I seem to know or understand, mostly about the outside world. And the more I discover about myself the more there seems to be to uncover.
It is in the uncovering that we can begin to play. We begin to understand how our “reality” shapes our world view. We start to see into the future to our reactions and play with the what ifs. If I hit this button here, what kind of reaction do I get or if I change how I interact with this scenario how does that feel? It is with this internal play that we are able to change our life, to create new normals, to build the life we want to lead.
The grand illusion? That there is one single destination. That there is one place that will bring us to full understanding, to having it all “figured out.” For me, figuring it out meant I would no longer be in pain. But there is a difference between pain and suffering. In pain there is the capacity for tremendous growth. In fact, most of my growth has been brought on by pain. Suffering is self induced. Suffering is the resistance to what is happening in our world. Suffering comes when we sit in and amplify the pain we are experiencing, when we hold on to the hurt instead of simply becoming curious and accepting that it is there. Here we have a choice. The choice to suffer or free ourselves from that burden and accept what is.
Back to the destination. I think there are people out there who reach a place where they are comfortable and choose to remain there and maybe for them there is a sort of destination, but for me I cannot imagine finding one way to live my life and just sticking with that.
Along the journey there are endless chances to try new things, to find the lessons and growth in all of the emotions. To experience not just pain but also joy and happiness. To wake up gratitude and appreciation and play in the fields that those gifts bring.
The illusion is that we are already here. Each moment is the destination and in each moment we get to decide what the next step will be. To suffer, to pain, to fear, to smile or laugh. So enjoy each moment. Know that it won’t last but will build on the next and the next. There will be good days and bad and a world of contrast. This is the journey, this is the destination. This is life. ❤ ❤