So, as I mentioned this has been the first week of really digging into coaching work and we started with the art of asking questions.
Our instructor posted a few challenges for us. 1. Listen to the questions being asked around you. What are they like? 2. Listen to the questions you ask other people, what are they like? 3. Listen to the questions you ask yourself, what are they like?
I have really learned a lot about questions, about how people ask questions, how they interpret them and how people listen. None of it is revolutionary, it’s kind of what I expected, but now there is an awareness about it that I didn’t have before.
What I learned is that people love having the chance to talk about themselves and open ended questions really allow them that space. I first learned about open ended questions in vet school with respect to getting histories from clients, so it hasn’t been hard to move that over to coaching.
I also learned that not a lot of people listen. The vast majority of people are waiting to give their response and their experience and sometimes are so impatient that they cannot even wait for your sentence to finish before jumping in. It is also really obvious when people don’t care very much and cut people off and change the conversation.
People are selfish. Myself included. I love to talk about me and my problems (hello, I have a blog all about ME), but I think that one of the greatest gifts we can give to people is to listen. To be present in the moment and let them talk without worrying about where the conversation will go or what to say next.
Try it. Sit and just listen. People may not realize or tell you how amazing it feels, but I promise if you are consistent you will see people coming to you for advice and friendship more often. This can be a blessing and a curse. One has to remain powerful in themselves, and not take things on from other people, but it can also be magical experience and one in which you can learn SO much about yourself and how you show up in the world. ❤ ❤