I am on the phone with PayPal. I have been on hold for almost 20 minutes. Normally this situation would frustrate me and yes, it still is BUT the difference is this situation is supporting me in being my truest, most authentic self by sorting out a problem in a way that allows me to live in my highest power. And it’s providing me a platform for patience. See, it’s all a matter of perspective.
Goal setting is not something I have ever been very good at. Or maybe just not super mindful about. Sometimes I just kind of do things and they seem to work out. Like my career. I have initials behind my name and some days I swear I have no clue how I got here. I was not one of those kids that spent every waking second dreaming of this profession, planning how to get the grades and working through acing interviews. One day I just kind of decided to go for it cause I really couldn’t see myself doing anything else in life.
This kind of blowing in the breeze has worked fairly well. I have a successful career, I make enough money to live comfortably, I have some free time and am generally content. But, I want more, and that is where goal setting comes in. I am no longer in the stage of my life where flying by the seat of my pants is that welcome (read: I am getting older and running out of time to experience cool shit). Yet, the single hardest question to answer, for me, has been, “What DO you want?” I can tell you a million things I don’t want. I can fantasize about the thousands of things that seem really cool to do, but pinpointing one thing I want, get outta here.
** As an aside…. sitting down and writing out all the things you don’t want and then writing the opposite to find the things you DO want, is an excellent exercise in duality (which I will talk about in a later post). I try to do this every few months. It’s a great way to air out all the things I don’t like in my life, and get it all down on paper and then flip the script. Pretty soon it becomes easier and easier to see what I do want without having to go through the negativity associated with the don’t wants. **
I decided to really focus on this question though. Someone much smarter than me said, “Just pick one thing. It’s like you are at an amusement park and you want to ride ALL the rides, you can’t do it all at the same time, but picking one doesn’t mean you can’t pick others later on.” Okay, point taken.
I started with what seemed the “easiest” and quickest way to see results. My body. All of my other wants seemed really REALLY big and more on the intangibles side of things. Once I made that decision I applied a laser like focus to my goal (for about five minutes). Pretty soon, life “got in the way.” Garbage needed to go out, I had normal adulting to get done like paying bills and I started to feel myself slipping into the land of procrastination.
Until I shifted perspective.
We always find what we are looking for. And I was looking for all the reasons I couldn’t work out. I didn’t have the time. I didn’t have the energy. My dogs needed attention etc etc. One of the most awesome things about being human is that we have the capacity for self- awareness and introspection. We also have brains that can change and adapt. So instead of looking for all of the reasons I couldn’t get a workout in, I decided to get curious and see all of the ways I COULD get a workout in and I realized there were resources EVERYWHERE to help me support my goal.
My alarm clock got me up earlier so I could find the time to work out. A few simple shifts and my dogs were able to come with me in my day so they weren’t locked up for hours on end bored out of their minds. Taking the garbage out became the perfect chance to do lunges and squats down my driveway. The parking lot at the grocery store become a place to practice my sprints through the rain. Paying bills gave me the freedom to be able to pay for my gym membership and so on…. and once I started seeing results in my body I had to look less and less for resources. They just became a part of my daily routine as the motivation to continue was growing stronger each day.
And so it continues.
I want to have more love in my life. Suddenly the post man offers me a smile, there is some love. My boss being critical of my work, some more love, she wants me to improve. My mother annoying the ever loving shit out of me in trying to reconnect, its her way of showing love. There are SO many ways to give and receive love and once open to different perspectives one can see that it is truly all around.
I wanted to find ways that the world was set up to support me, so I did. Once the shift was made in one area of my life, it became easier in all others as well. I don’t always remember to shift my perspective before negativity creeps in, but I am so much more aware of my defeatist thought patterns and now can say okay I want more of this, but I was handed this and this, how can these support me in getting what I want. Sometimes the relationships are very obscure and sometimes they slap me in the face. Now if I want something I can stop and see how the world is engaging to help me with my goal.
Just to be clear this doesn’t mean I feel magically happy and supported all the time. Sometimes, like when things were going on with Mr. X, I could look around and see all of the ways that I could change my perspective and how it would serve me better. It was like a smorgasbord of views to choose from. And sometimes I still choose a less than flattering perspective because it feels less painful in the moment. Once space is present though it’s much easier to shift things, drop the resistance and settle into something more useful, especially after you have trained your brain to look for resources.
I used to think the world was out to get me. Now I know the world is actually working for me, I just had to open my heart and mind to the endless possibilities. ❤ ❤
P.S. I learned all of this stuff through the work of Mike Kemski. If you haven’t a clue what I am talking about please read day 7.
He is starting a Facebook challenge on January 6th. Click the link if you are interested!