The Frazzled Romantic: The Beginning, or the End… or Maybe the End That Sparked a Beginning

And so it begins.

I find that journeys of significance often start with great pain. My story is no different.

I find myself 35 years old, pathologically single, with the latest heartache hanging over my head. This one was different. This one was love, plain and simple. Hearts open, fully absorbed, fear conquering, love. So what happened? Who cares. It ended… a fiery blaze akin to some of the best (read: worst) romance novels. A tragedy of epic lovers destined to never be together. We will rebuild (probably better than the original relationship), but for the moment all I feel is the grief of loss.

So I am here, in the underworld of the internet, in an attempt to heal. Through this relationship I learned that I don’t show people how to treat me. I am not good at asking for what I need because I am so afraid to come off as needy. I open my heart and they take what they need. And I let them. Every. Damn. Time.

I decided to dive deep into me. For the next 365 days I am dedicating myself to finding self love. To learn who I am, what I am, what I want to be and taking the steps to jump into that reality. I know, I know… this reeks of Julie and Julia, but at the end of it I don’t expect to have Julia Child at my door, just a new, updated version of me.

Why bother doing this online? Accountability. Do I expect anyone to read this or care, no, not really. If someone does, awesome, welcome to my tribe. But this one is for me. ❤

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